From Pain to Power: My Journey as A Conjure Woman

 Introduction    

    Welcome to Musings of a Conjure Woman, a space that found me when I needed it the most -  a place where I could let my thoughts, experiences, teachings, and learnings flow freely from my heart and spirit to the web, and maybe to the world. I hope that with this page I can walk in my purpose with honor as a Griot, as a Black Woman, and as a soul that seeks to guide others. Mainly because I didn't have the help when I unlocked my healing journey, or the deep dive into my history to cultivate a spiritual renaissance, and had many moments of longing for guidance in human form. Human form? Yes, because a large portion of my research and studies came from books, personal anecdotes, answered petitions set underneath glowing candles, and cry outs to my Ancestors and Spirit Guides many nights at 3AM for their wisdom. 

    As I develop this blog, I want you the reader to know that it will be a place where you can learn about Black spirituality, Linguistics (specifically from the Tutnese and Gullah Geechee African American cultural perspectives),  the African Derived (and closed) practice of Hoodoo, Black History, Black Womanhood, African American Folk Medicine, Book reviews and recommendations, and of course little bits and pieces of me, T (affectionately known as Mama T, or TT to my loved ones), and my continuing life journey. I turn 25 at the end of the year, and I decided, that at this point in time, I am truly ready to share my story and my knowledge in the form I know and love best, writing. This blog is a requiem to my spiritual team, chosen family, spaces of collective care that I have had the privilege to cultivate, my students, and to my life's destiny and purpose. 

    Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy this very first post.

Pain as A Catalyst

(TW: Heavy topics are discussed)

    From as early as I can recall, my life was dictated by two emotionally unstable parents, a narcissistic father and a codependent, man-chasing mother, quarreling and raising hell with each other and with me. My only escapes were school, my aunt's house in the summer, and adventures with my big cousin and his wife who did their best to expose me to the world and the fun that existed outside of my bleak home life. Fast forward to middle and high school, and there I am a traumatized adolescent rampaging inside, and through the world. I had always been a learner, my straight As being earned in boredom, and at the age of 13 I decided to start my spiritual and healing journey. Now, I know what you are thinking "a thirteen year old on a healing journey??" and my response is yes. By the time I was a preteen, I experienced life changing violence over time - an abusive household, absent parents that left me an emotional orphan and forced me to parent myself, sexual abuse and molestation, health issues, mental illness, and a suicide attempt under my belt. 

    I wanted nothing more to get answers to my deepest questions, understandings of my fears and traumas, and how to get past everything I had survived so far and break cycles of suffering. I remember becoming a little theologian and historian, putting my head in every religious text and scouring the web for information about my ancestry. I questioned everything, undid the fabric of Christian values that enveloped me, relearned how to think critically and analyze every piece of information like a well programmed machine. I didn't know at the time but, I had alchemically transmuted my pain and suffering into something that would change the trajectory of my life, and of the lives of those that I would eventually meet and mentor, or befriend. 

Standing in My Power

    In 2020, I was 19 years old, finishing my Associate of Science in Mortuary Sciences, and I was working at a hotel as a front desk agent, until the Covid-19 pandemic laid me off. During my time unemployed, I had more time to finish up and graduate and decide what I wanted to do next. I took the time to put myself out there on social media, used my unemployment to start Transcend By T LLC, and dive deeper into myself and my journey but, on a public stage. Social media had its ups and downs, and looking back I am grateful for the connections I forged and people I got to meet, teach, and inspire. 

    As of this post, I am stable mentally, working on my health, no contact with problematic family members, a boundary setter (and enforcer!), working towards my Bachelors' in Alternative Medicine, a tenured Hoodoo practitioner, and more. I committed myself to my teaching path and am working in the mundane world to transition into a career that reflects my life's purpose, and not just solely for survival. I am standing my power as a Black Woman, in the Lowcountry, that wants the best for her people, and for herself, through education, through a trauma-informed lense, through the flavor and love of being Black, and through the honor bestowed upon me by God, my Ancestors and Spirit Guides, and my community. 

Gratitude

    My journey is a life-long one but, one that I am extremely grateful for because little me never could've imagined that I would make it to the age of 24, let alone to a 25th birthday and beyond. I thank you reader, for sticking around and making it the end of my very first post. It would mean the world to me if you chose to stick around by subscribing to my blog, share my content with those you love and think would benefit, or even bits and pieces of yourself with me in the comments. It is my intention to pour into you and nurture your mind, heart, and soul with my knowledge and my experiences. May this space serve as a beacon of light that brings you through the fog.